40 PRIMATES COLLECTIVE: 1 (notsuoh)
THUNDERBIRD: 1-notsuoh, 2-madly photography party, 3-notsuoh opening for yoni gordon & the goods
PERSEPH1/ANDACC: 1-album release party, 2-scott's going away party, 3-warehouse party w/ belly dancers, 4-three muse gallery, 5-madly photography party, 6-emo's opening for aesop rock
+books
+co-starting & writing mbgzine
+projections/films/stagefun
+designing and making clothes
Saturday, July 26, 2008
SPECIAL BROADCAST FROM AUSTIN
THE SHOW LAST NIGHT WAS OFF THE FUCKING CHAIN. seriously the most people i'd EVER performed for in my entire life. way more people than any of my art shows, school band concerts....well, maybe more people at UIL district band performances but come on now...
and i got paid.
and i have priceless memories no one can take away...
our show was a definite success, everything fell into place so well, meaning all the projections, strobes, accent spotlights, spray confetti, the huge 36" balloon balls i blew up with my own breath, fake blood, EVERYTHING. a little starstruck by aesop rock but not too much (kept my cool).
it was cool for me that people recognized me and acknowledged me as a genuine member of the band. A lot of people came up to me to give props and offer places to stay, services, future booking, future help at all, etc....austin's full of nice people...
after the show i was so fucking overwhelmed that i stayed in the VIP BANDS ONLY room for almost the whole aesop set. it was so unbelievable, never done any of what i did last night before, and yet it was just another day in my little life!
was blessed by the Creator to be a part of the whole thing. hope i have it in for me to play more shows like that, and better.
Thanks also to James for giving me the key to his apartment. Old friendships die hard :)
xoxotoeveryone--sending my positively-charged energies out for the sharing
and i got paid.
and i have priceless memories no one can take away...
our show was a definite success, everything fell into place so well, meaning all the projections, strobes, accent spotlights, spray confetti, the huge 36" balloon balls i blew up with my own breath, fake blood, EVERYTHING. a little starstruck by aesop rock but not too much (kept my cool).
it was cool for me that people recognized me and acknowledged me as a genuine member of the band. A lot of people came up to me to give props and offer places to stay, services, future booking, future help at all, etc....austin's full of nice people...
after the show i was so fucking overwhelmed that i stayed in the VIP BANDS ONLY room for almost the whole aesop set. it was so unbelievable, never done any of what i did last night before, and yet it was just another day in my little life!
was blessed by the Creator to be a part of the whole thing. hope i have it in for me to play more shows like that, and better.
Thanks also to James for giving me the key to his apartment. Old friendships die hard :)
xoxotoeveryone--sending my positively-charged energies out for the sharing
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
dear future paula:
hopefully you have made it to XXXDINERXXX and got access to wifi, or else maybe to XXXCOFFEESHOPXXX and you can handle all that moneystuff, grownup stuff.
remember: don't fall asleep.
meet up w/ j.g. after work.
good breakfast: key to a good start for a good day, and also get caffeinated to avoid sleep.
show up to work on time.
plan a budget of sorts.
apply yourself.
remember: don't fall asleep.
meet up w/ j.g. after work.
good breakfast: key to a good start for a good day, and also get caffeinated to avoid sleep.
show up to work on time.
plan a budget of sorts.
apply yourself.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
automatic control
"...tryin to reduce that heart on heart crime...
numb
here: is the bed you've made. you lie in it now.
1 more hour to go
the countdown starts
mayhem, chaos
churning waters like whoa
and autopilot.
the real pilot is away now
she HAS GONE SOMEWHERE ELSE
"BRB" she said over her left
shoulder as she was leaving
she needs her time,
seasons change.
i'm really swimming now
she thinks to herself. and she sits there
on autopilot
at work
looking straight ahead behind the counter
exchanging the expected salutations, responses.
"yah i'm really swimming now," she says out loud.
while on autopilot she was occupying
her mind about how to compare the swimming.
is it me in a kiddie pool like a beached whale?
in a cave with stalagmites deep under the water?
am i in the middle of an endless ocean-sky landscape so i cant tell where the blue ocean and the blue skies divide...surrounded in blue so it makes me sick...and underneath are sharks...and no ground beneath my feet for unfathomable miles?
is it actually like floating along in a river, toobin?
she closes her eyes and thinks
of a place. a happy place
in her memories. a simpler time.
she almost sinks into it but catches
her snap; it's part of being on autopilot.
are there consequences for her actions? she's about to find out.
this is how traveling uncharted territory goes
can't lose nerve. balls dont shrink.
she's made her bed now she lies in it
lies in it real good
rumples up the sheets
pulls em up off a corner or so
a pillow falls to the ground
next to a dead flying cockroach, dead who knows how long. she'll pick it up and put
her face against the pillow later.
unaware of how close her skin was to a dead pest.
and she thinks these things
mapping out the unknown landscape and what's to come with the telescopes of her imagination.
deja vu
hoodoo
what to make of anything
eyes play tricks, and the mind too.
she's gone off
unraveling tangles to clear up the hassle
no fighting anything
no avoiding either
opting, rather, to face it
endure it
in all fairness,
enduring the pain she's giving
embracing duality
order and chaos
both sides of the story
red and green tomatoes
love and hate
two sides
two faces
a janus figure world
all this on autopilot
and now the hour's almost up
numb
here: is the bed you've made. you lie in it now.
1 more hour to go
the countdown starts
mayhem, chaos
churning waters like whoa
and autopilot.
the real pilot is away now
she HAS GONE SOMEWHERE ELSE
"BRB" she said over her left
shoulder as she was leaving
she needs her time,
seasons change.
i'm really swimming now
she thinks to herself. and she sits there
on autopilot
at work
looking straight ahead behind the counter
exchanging the expected salutations, responses.
"yah i'm really swimming now," she says out loud.
while on autopilot she was occupying
her mind about how to compare the swimming.
is it me in a kiddie pool like a beached whale?
in a cave with stalagmites deep under the water?
am i in the middle of an endless ocean-sky landscape so i cant tell where the blue ocean and the blue skies divide...surrounded in blue so it makes me sick...and underneath are sharks...and no ground beneath my feet for unfathomable miles?
is it actually like floating along in a river, toobin?
she closes her eyes and thinks
of a place. a happy place
in her memories. a simpler time.
she almost sinks into it but catches
her snap; it's part of being on autopilot.
are there consequences for her actions? she's about to find out.
this is how traveling uncharted territory goes
can't lose nerve. balls dont shrink.
she's made her bed now she lies in it
lies in it real good
rumples up the sheets
pulls em up off a corner or so
a pillow falls to the ground
next to a dead flying cockroach, dead who knows how long. she'll pick it up and put
her face against the pillow later.
unaware of how close her skin was to a dead pest.
and she thinks these things
mapping out the unknown landscape and what's to come with the telescopes of her imagination.
deja vu
hoodoo
what to make of anything
eyes play tricks, and the mind too.
she's gone off
unraveling tangles to clear up the hassle
no fighting anything
no avoiding either
opting, rather, to face it
endure it
in all fairness,
enduring the pain she's giving
embracing duality
order and chaos
both sides of the story
red and green tomatoes
love and hate
two sides
two faces
a janus figure world
all this on autopilot
and now the hour's almost up
the thing about waves is
that sometimes they can come back to you, just as strong or at least an echo of itself.
permanence/temp-long term adventures
something real/fleeting desires
stability/potential chaos
tried & true/something new
known/unknown
familiar/uncharted territories
trusty paths/making my own way
what is a girl to do if she has desires to experience life and make choices for herself?
an "i'll do what i want" attitude: the ideal or something waiting to backfire?
it's dangerous because you gotta be able to take what you dish out, it's an unspoken pact. an understanding in a landscape without rules. it's livin like an outlaw...
are there consequences for such actions? only time will tell.
permanence/temp-long term adventures
something real/fleeting desires
stability/potential chaos
tried & true/something new
known/unknown
familiar/uncharted territories
trusty paths/making my own way
what is a girl to do if she has desires to experience life and make choices for herself?
an "i'll do what i want" attitude: the ideal or something waiting to backfire?
it's dangerous because you gotta be able to take what you dish out, it's an unspoken pact. an understanding in a landscape without rules. it's livin like an outlaw...
are there consequences for such actions? only time will tell.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
battered like a little corn dog
...or worse, a woman.
i look mess up right now. that's right, i meant it like that, "mess up". in other words, superthrowd, absolutely busted. no way i can hide the facts, my face tells the story. the left half of me is bruised, scraped, gone to shit!
i tried to tackle a car on my skateboard. the car won. i kissed it a dent with the left of my face, somethin for them to remember me by. someone had to do the remembering here, cuz it sure wasn't me! blacked out. felt no pain. ambulance. people everywhere. i wake up in clay's arms. can't remember anything. rush to the hospital. in an ambulance, oh my god. what happened?
bruised, bloody, but no broken bones. healing mighty well. way better than last night already.
i look mess up right now. that's right, i meant it like that, "mess up". in other words, superthrowd, absolutely busted. no way i can hide the facts, my face tells the story. the left half of me is bruised, scraped, gone to shit!
i tried to tackle a car on my skateboard. the car won. i kissed it a dent with the left of my face, somethin for them to remember me by. someone had to do the remembering here, cuz it sure wasn't me! blacked out. felt no pain. ambulance. people everywhere. i wake up in clay's arms. can't remember anything. rush to the hospital. in an ambulance, oh my god. what happened?
bruised, bloody, but no broken bones. healing mighty well. way better than last night already.
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
life in waves, as mata hari
been ridin the wave of current projects, i'm happy enough but plum tired too. spend most of my days sleeping with my dogfriend milagrosa even though i should be lookin for jobs and the like. jobs, money, paying for stuff is important--yah right--but man, all i seem to want to do is sail away on the bed...
with all my heart i want to share so much more than what i share now. seems what i talk about is superficial. however, due to the strange nature of my subject, i cannot do anything but say that it's quite interesting...being a double agent...
***
WEEKEND AGENDA:
THURS: get things ready for trip, get car ready, donate the food, go to work, wait for everyone else to get ready/get off work, drive to guadalupe state park!
FRIDAY: go tubing for 3 hours, drive to see willie nelson, explore and have fun, go back for work at 9 am saturday
***
with all my heart i want to share so much more than what i share now. seems what i talk about is superficial. however, due to the strange nature of my subject, i cannot do anything but say that it's quite interesting...being a double agent...
***
WEEKEND AGENDA:
THURS: get things ready for trip, get car ready, donate the food, go to work, wait for everyone else to get ready/get off work, drive to guadalupe state park!
FRIDAY: go tubing for 3 hours, drive to see willie nelson, explore and have fun, go back for work at 9 am saturday
***
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